New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
