Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
