Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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