they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
