I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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