My friends, they love my intelligence
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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