there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
