I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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