I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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