I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
this must be what syphilis tastes like
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
