Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
