you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
