oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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