Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize