My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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