I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
