What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
