Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
