We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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