I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
