you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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