I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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