I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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