I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she pinky promised me she was 18
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Randomize
