I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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