but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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