me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
