idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
