Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
