why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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