question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
