I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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