Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
