It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize