My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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