You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
