He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
