my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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