called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
