You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The uberlube is also flammable
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
