so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
