called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
