Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
