The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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