out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
