I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
