i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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