Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
