Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
