susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
