a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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