my phone needs a breathalizer
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
