Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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