if i can run in heels then i can drive
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
A bitchslap is in order.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
