Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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