i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
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