We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i out mim tonsoeep
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