I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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