So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize