too bad you live with your parents still
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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