What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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