Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
