I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
