sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
