ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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