Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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