ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
