we have officially lost it.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
