Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
