it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
