Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
