Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
